02

The beginning?

Where do I start? There is so much. I remember wondering about this before. When I started my first
Journal. The one that is now dedicated to my dreamwalking to Cyeatea. I remember being told by a Dragon
who protects my household not to write it all. To start with Cyeatea.

I asked. I called him through and asked. Why was I told "no" back then about writing everything? So many
years of stuff, so many years ago?

He looked at me with those compassionate eyes of his and smiled softly. "You were not yet ready..."

And chills went through me.

The separation of the journals is as it should be. In my heart I wish to continue with that. With my walking.
And we are walking quite a bit now. Trying to put it all down is the problem. Like with this one, there really is
so much. Just imagine trying to put down an entire day in one's life. It would take almost that long just to
write it. So you have to pick and choose. And there are things that have to go by the way side.

But I don't want anything to go by the wayside!

I wish I could put down everything.

Gosh. I'm rambling now.

Let's see if I can choose a starting point. I could start with the first time I walked and where that led. (I
touched on that in the other journal.)

Or I could start with my first actual walk to Velve and the reasons surrounding it. It all had to do with a
chunky, big boobed, red haired war pony and her ego.

Or I could start farther back - where I walked as a child and was protected by those that helped me. (That
demon I spoke of earlier. He's no longer a demon by definition but at that time, there was no other label that
could cover him in our limited human vocabulary.)

No, I won't start back that far. It could...disturb many on a level I do not want to touch on. Children are
sancrosanct in my world. They are innocent and I was innocent and that innocence was constantly battered at
when I was a child. I do not need to revisit those old, intense betrayals and pains.

I will start with my first traveling. It has a bit to do with Cyeatea. I know I've written that I recall that I was
Damiana. But I only peripherally sort of remembered. Like a very strong déjà vu. That along with
"remembering" things without realizing it. Well, now, I really remember a lot of it. I remember being
Damiana. I remember flying and taking part in the Great Harvest. I remember the Arena and my own bouts.
I remember playing the great Game with the black widow Nightshade.

God I've missed her.

It's sad, sort of. So many things have happened between the accident, the months...years since I've
been...gone, that I almost feel like I was left out. It's silly, I know. It just happened. Not it's time to start
over. To get back to things.

My friends. My lovers.

My family.

I remember many Cyeatean things. A lifetime.

Some of it began when I wrote about Cyeatea one night, many years ago. I wrote of Theta becoming caught
in a lace web - they seem to be his bane - and watching Ammianthium and her daughter Cleome catching him
and then myself getting in on the fray. It was Cleome's coming of age and I silently volunteered to help her
learn how to catch a honeybee. It was again, after winter, a particularly bad one. Here is where we truly
'met' Ammie and her daughter. I was to discover that Cleome had started winter with two other siblings and
in some way, they had sacrificed themselves so that their youngest sister might live. Ammie and Cleome had
come away from that winter half starved and Theta was their first capture after the Great Time of Cold.

I *saw* all of this while focusing - always with music in my ears - on Cyeatea. I felt (in the beginning) that I
was just writing but then everything just started flowing and I practically could not stop. I wrote and wrote
and wrote. All kinds of Cyeatean adventures. As I wrote, I "saw" them. Johnathon, sitting next to me, would
in a sense, walk with me. We'd experience these things together. He was thrilled and fascinated with my
mode of "walking." It was limited and yet it worked.

During my growth into this type of walking, Johnathon also phased or dreamwalked and he'd return with
stories to tell me. It was wonderful. I'd often meet one of the folks he'd talk about, during his phasing. THAT
was awesome! I know I've mentioned it before, but think of it! Actually meeting one of the fantastic beings
he's spoken of!

Some of them were what we call creations made "real" by the love of those who "read" about them or some
such thing. Others are those Johnathon had met through his phasing days when he walked to other worlds
with his guardian The Singularity, who I've mentioned in the past in the other journal.

Then, one day, some music came on and I was not typing - yet I moved. I think I may have written this
experience down in the other Journal's beginning area but I'm not sure. In any case it was as if there were
two images superimposed over one another. One of them being my greyside living room and the other was a
pub that Johnathon had spoken about called Stegg's, that he often frequented while he was there. On the
other side I found myself *sitting* in the middle of one of the big round tables! And I could see some of the
people Johnathon had spoken about. I also saw some of the people that I had always wondered about. Most
especially Eeon and another individual named Silk. She is a vampire bat that I "read" about in a story and
fell in love with. Yes, I'm prone to that. *grin* But in the story she was so real to me...

Yes. I read about her in a story. Have I not ever explained Velveteen? No. Wait. I think that may have been
in something else I wrote. Something I did much earlier when I was "walking" through writing. Before the
accident. Well, I'll do it again just in case.

The world that Johnathon and now I, travel to, live in, is named Velveteen. Yes, like the child's story, The
Velveteen Rabbit.

It was so named because many of the denizens within it were creations that were so loved that they were
given the gift of becoming "real." Or so it seems. We have yet to discover if they were made "real" by being
loved, or if a writer/creator went "walking" and met them in a dream and then wrote about them because
they were already real. Chicken and the egg. There are those who are not in stories that live there. Or at
least no stories that we know of or perhaps not from our little blue marble of a world.

Velveteen is far larger than I can comprehend. To get a bit more technical it is a dyson sphere and the inside
is basically sort of wallpapered with worlds along with the floating continents. It is unimaginably huge. Earth
is so small that it could easily be lost like a tiny grain of sand on the beach among so many others. These are
not all worlds we would recognize. They are not all "earthly." Many are inconceivable. To us humans,
anyway.

This world was created by the Dragons. I do believe I explained them some time back as well. They made
this traveling ark, began collecting worlds to save them, and thus created an entire universe (or more) inside
the sphere of Velveteen. They will not explain *why* they created Velveteen. I believe there are many
levels of reasons. One of them being that something profound was going to happen to our own universe. But
still, they will not tell.

After my ghostly walk, I was starting to be able to "travel" even more clearly and more often through my
writing. Thus through my writing, I could walk. The resolution was not nearly so clear as what Johnathon
experiences, but it was something. It was more like looking through a small window to the other side as
opposed to being there. At that time, I still did not dream. Maybe the accident had a benefit after all?

Riiight.

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