NJ28

October 18, 2004

Ah, catch up time! Been SO busy. Well, sort of. I have to explain everything. Getting it all down in the right
order may take a bit of time. My hand would definitely cramp if I were doing this by hand rather than by
wordprocessing.

I guess I should get around to writing down what happened with Fleur and I, right?

After I picked her up at the airport we first drove to visit Johnathon even before we dropped off her bags at the
house. We sat for a while just quietly visiting. Johnathon already knows about most of what's been happening
because when I visit him I let him know everything that's happened the day before. Then Fleur and I went out to
dinner and then home, to talk. To…compare notes again.

We had both 'awakened' where we'd left. That alone was weird. Days had passed--a good week, I think, but it
was as if no time at all had passed there. None. Very freaky feeling. Like falling asleep for a nap at noon and
waking up--after what feels like hours asleep--at noon.

Remember that I'd found some of Johnathon's drawings and that the last thing I'd heard was "Welcome to
Cyeatea."

I remembered some of what Johnathon and I had learned of Cyeatea but it felt like, well, like a lifetime ago.
Almost like a fairy tale someone told you years past and suddenly you're reminded of it. It felt…distant. I had
no connection to it.

I worked hard at trying to remember. I've not had any "fairies" hopping around in front of me for weeks and I'm
still wondering if my lack of visual hallucinations is because of healing or perhaps because of the dreamwalking?

Be that as it may, Fleur and I sat in front of Ammianthium and nodded in a bit of delight, especially after finding
Johnathon's drawings. We knew a little tiny bit now. A bit of background.

Cyeatea is very likely one of the most erotic worlds I could ever think of. Erotic, magical and to some, really
weird. After all, how many folks do you know who like insectile critters? Most women run screaming from
spiders. Well, not exactly screaming, but they don't deal with them on a level much removed from a rolled up
newspaper.

Oh, I remembered something else, too, while there and while paging through the pages of Johnathon's notes.
There was yet another drawing that triggered a memory.

Cyeatea has a God. One who is actually active in the goings on of its inhabitants.

His name is Bael.

I remembered meeting him. No, it was more personal than just "meeting." And it was a long time ago. God this
sounds very, very "out" there. But what hasn't so far?

Bael was introduced to me by Labyrinth. When I was very young, he helped me to deal with the fact that I was
being molested on a regular basis by an uncle of mine. Said uncle had already threatened me against telling my
parents so I was a very confused little fay child. Truly I was tiny. I always have been. An example: I barely
came up to my father's belt buckle when I was eight years old. I was four feet eleven inches tall and eighty-four
pounds when I graduated from high school.

Late one night after being sexually abused by that same ever so charming uncle, Bael appeared in my bedroom.
I was quietly crying. My sister was asleep. She too had been abused but Bael told me that she didn't want him as
a friend. She held everything inside and would never talk about it. Not even to me.

But I did need someone to talk to. I could not handle the fear that my uncle instilled into me. Bael helped me to
deal with it. My parent's wouldn't listen to me when I tried in my halting and somewhat inept way to tell them.
They were almost always wrapped up in their own little worlds.

Bael helped me to understand that my uncle might touch my body but he could _never_ touch _me._

I was four years old.

It helped for many years. Then my uncle stopped touching me after I reached a certain age--he was a pedophile
after all and I was no longer his preferred age I guess--and it faded from my memory. I had blocked the abuse
out as children will often do. Completely forgotten. Unfortunately, along with it, I'd unintentionally blocked out
Bael.

I'm so sorry Bael. I never meant to hurt you. Especially after all you'd done for me.

And now, full circle. I remember Bael. I've not seen him, yet. And I may have hurt him so much that I will never
see him again. But I do know that Cyeatea is his world and he still cares. Why else would I be able to "walk"
there?

I *grin* also suspect that that is the reason I always show up in Cyeatea naked. Bael's world is erotic but
innocent. I know that doesn't seem possible to be both, but his world is. It is their nature to be erotic. Kind of the
way you'd think of a unicorn. Beautiful. Sexual. Innocent.

I know, I know, I'm blathering too much. Back to Cyeatea.

Anyway, Fleur and I were standing there in front of Ammianthium and Cleome. They had just given Bahoogie a
pretty good oral working out in a way that made both Fleur and I flinch. If I ever pulled on a male _human_ dick
that hard, he'd run out of the house screaming, holding his crotch. Trust me. Yet all Bahoogie did was grunt and
twitch every once in a while.

It took us a while to grok it. Accept it. Accept that she was not injuring him. Even he, hanging there, smiled and
shook his head at us. Once he was able to talk again--there seems to be some chemical that allows them to
speak while the rest of their body remains relatively paralyzed. Imobile. Of course being thoroughly wrapped in
webbing had to help.

Fleur and I watched as Ammie placed her tongue deep into his ass. She apparently had several tongues. To this
day I still cannot figure out how they all roll up in that head of hers.

In any case one of the tongues is called a deedee. It's what, outside of her stings, releases a paralyzing chemical
into the "guest." The captured individual is always called a guest and not a victim. Again, we had to wrap our
minds around it. I came close to gagging a few times until Fleur made some pretty raunchy jokes. That pretty
much broke the spell.

Ammie is apparently a veritable chemical factory. With another tongue she released a chemical that she told us
made Bahoogies insides sweat blood. Sweat blood for god sake! Then that would get mixed up with another
chemical of her choice to flavor the blood.

Flavor it.

Like spicing meat.

This took some getting used to as well.

How about a little waffles and maple syrup flavor this morning, dear?

Now all this is difficult enough to wrap my mind around but what else was happening did not help.

Every time I'd watch Ammianthium press a sting onto Bahoogie or slide one of her tongues into him, I'd tense
and my body would tighten as if she were doing it to me! I could practically feel it. A really weird kind of déjà vu!
Everything she taught us was familiar in some weird way. As if I'd experienced it first hand in the past.

I told Fleur about it and she stared at me a long moment before she spoke. "And what if it IS familiar? What if
ya been here before, hon?"

I didn't get it. How could I have been here before? I said as much.

Fleur smiled slightly. "What is it Johnathon's been teachin' ya? All these worlds he visits. What if you're just
takin' a pit stop of sorts? A vacation? What do you feel, really, hon, when ya watch Ammie's tongues slidin' deep
into Bahoogie?"

I'd been avoiding acknowledging what my body had been doing. Every time I saw Ammie go to work on
Bahoogie, my nipples would harden and my abdomen would tense, readying for that next sting or that next
deedee.

Fleur nodded as she saw my thoughts race across my face.

"Yeah, ah thought so. Ah been listenin' to ya talkin' to Ammie and you been comin' up with some things before
she's had a chance to tell us." Fleur smiled widely. "Bet you didn't even notice, didja?"

I shook my head, dazed with the epiphany.

Ammie and Cleome were working on fixing their web and we watched. It was hypnotic, watching them cut and
weave. Back and forth. Up and down.

And before I realized it I was sitting up in bed.

The phone began ringing barely before I'd sat up.

"Hot damn! We did it! Again! And it's real! Really real! Again!"

"Ahm hungry enough to eat a whole bull! And hon, I barely been asleep but for a few hours! You hungry, hon?"

My stomach growled, surprising me with the depth of my hunger. The thought of food actually made my stomach
ache.

I nodded. "I'm so hungry I hurt!"

"We've only been gone a single night on this side--a sleep cycle so to speak. I set mah calendar clocks so ah
could tell when we awakened."

I turned and looked to my own clock. If it was accurate the screen showed that only a single night had passed.
And it was still early on top of that. Seven in the morning. I could swear we'd been gone for days! I paused.

"Fleur!" I said excited. "You've only been asleep a few hours. It's what, about one in the morning out there?"

"That's right, hon." I could hear the grin in her voice. Then I heard a yawn. A big one. I smiled.

"Go back to sleep, Fleur. I'm going to go have breakfast."

"Ah can't wait until tonight," she said, between two more yawns. "Damn. Ah'm excited but mah damn body
wants more sleep. A'll talk to you later t'day. You goin' out?"

I shook my head. "Too much work, here. Except for seeing Johnathon. But you knew that."

"Then ah'll talk to you later."

Breakfast. Mmmmm.